Lei Lockwell

Gah! Just because I'm drunk and have a lighter doesn't mean I'm going to set stuff ablaze! Promise! People need to stop picking on me or I'm not buying. So there.

So my stint of not getting in trouble this year? It so ended in the middle of March and now I'm just like "too hell with it!" and doing what I want. I forgot how much fun I had before the whole getting arrested thing. Getting arrested is just a side effect and one I am learning to put up with. Poor Harry though has to deal with all my calls. Have I mentioned how awesome he is though? Because he is.

Ok, so I should get a medal or something! Or cookies! Oh! CUPCAKES! And Harry Carr, you should totally get them for me. You want to know why? Because I haven't been ticketed or arrested since the new year started! How awesomely amazing am I? Oh yeah, I'm cool. I do believe that this is a record for me. I should do something to commemorate it! And with the weekend right about to start it seems like an omen to do something. Decisions, decisions, decisions...

Anyone have any recommendations?

I totally got pulled over today! But don't worry, Harry, I don't need your help! The cop totally was hitting on me. He didn't give me a ticket or anything, but he totally gave me his number. I so don't think that a cop can use his lights and siren to pull you over just for a booty call though. Isn't that like an abuse of power or something? Because I'm thinking it totally is.

Of course had he been hot I might not have minded. He wasn't though. Ugh. Here's to hoping he doesn't do it again. Even I have standards.

Yum.

Do you know what is absolutely awesome? Sex. Do you know what is even better? Sex that leaves you bruised and sore in all the right ways. That is like double yum. I recommend it to everyone. Especially all you people who are wound way too tight. You could definitely use a good tumble between some sheets, on the floor, the kitchen counter, wherever! You just need to get you some. And you know who you are.

And of course there is the triple threat (which I definitely got last night). Sex that leaves you sore, bruised and goes on pretty much all night. Mmmm.... Perfect.

Ok, so, listen. No, no. Listen. Are you listening? Good. I have a question. Ok. So here goes.

You go to a bar and you drink. You drink a lot and you have a frickin' great time! You have such a great time that the bartender refuses to give you your keys back. And let's just say, hypothetically, that you then have some words with said barkeeper and you get tossed out. Is it really your fault now that your drunk in public?

I mean, come on! Give someone some credit! You were drunk in the bar and it so isn't your fault that you aren't any more. Sort of.

( Lei is Epimetheus )